This time, I'm going to follow my mind first.

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Sometimes I feel that I'm a good for nothing. My studies ain't terrific. I have zero common sense. I try too hard to be nice and spare a thought of others, so much so like a child trying to be good. I feel like I'm wasting my whole life away. (Esp today where I didn't study much except Stalin) I feel as though I'm headed towards no particular direction. Seeing people around me all geared up for the Os, yet I'm here brooding over little things. I don't know I feel really tired. Mentally and physically. It doesn't help when I'm trying to do Amath to cheer myself up and I ended up getting stuck on an O level question. Great, my best subject and I'm stuck at Paper 1 question 2. I feel so unprepared. Somestimes, they say that confidence is key to success. Yet when I feel confident, everything crashes. I have too high expectations of myself such that I would always disappoint myself. But when I have low confidence, I tend to just give up easily without putting up a fight. And after the recent spate of events, I feel so lost. I feel as though I have nobody to confide in, I feel that need to protect the secret. One day, I'm going to lock this website up so that I can just say out whatever I wanted to.

Meanwhile..... My aims for Os

English: A1/2

Higher Chinese: B4

Emath: A1

Amath A1

Chemistry: A1/2

Physics: B3

Literature: A1/2

Combined Humans: B4

Tell me how the hell am I supposed to get into Vj when my prelim results are like bullshit? It sucks when you're good, but not that good to be counted as really good. (Points fingers at Emaths and Lit) I need a 4 grade jump for Comb H, and a 3 grade jump for Physics. Seriously, I need some fairy to bless me and give me luck, just like what happened during PSLE. (At this point of time, MAJOR regret for picking CCHMS)